Have just had the first supervision meeting. What this highlighted for me is how much I have let this drift over the summer. I seemed to write the proposal so long ago and yet they are right in the journey is becoming more associated with ‘me’ than with the midwives I met with. I am not sure how ‘navel’ going I want this to be? But isn’t this also a valid aspect to this in that I cannot separate myself from this research? It is going back to being so ingrained in my beliefs, but perhaps I have not articulated them enough. I am also basing my knowledge of spirituality research on that from before 2000 and more has been done since then- so I need to re-establish what those elements are.. its feeling scary at the moment- I am perhaps not brilliant at justifying myself and probing questions are difficult- it puts me on the spot, but I guess I must get used to this. And it’s raining, it’s just wild outside, no sign of any rainbow. But just because the clouds are covering everything it doesn’t mean that the sun doesn’t exist- that there isn’t that place of hope that I cant trust in- I feel I need to know that to get me exploring this more deeply. And so I go to the car and it … At that point the sun points through from behind the clouds! I can only wonder at the picture I have seen.